As I write this blog post, we have just reached Baton Rouge. The last novel we read in the city of New Orleans was Walker Percy’s The Moviegoer, and I’m not going to lie, the meaning of that book completely went over my head at first. The story follows a man named Binx Bolling as he goes on a bit of an existentialist journey trying to figure out the meaning of life.
“The search is what anyone would undertake if he were not sunk in the everydayness of his own life. To become aware of the search is to be onto something. Not to be onto something is to be in despair.”
By the end of the novel, Binx realizes that there isn’t some big mind-blowing answer. In reality, life is about all the small things that you experience and the people you encounter along the way. Binx evolves from a person who abhorred malaise in his life to someone who doesn’t need constant excitement.
I think it says a lot about me that I couldn’t identify and understand this lesson until it was pointed out to me during a seminar in Audubon Park. I am still searching for something greater. I expect every book we read to have a major revelation, which is why I failed to grasp the simple ending to The Moviegoer, in which Binx settles down and is surrounded by his half siblings and wife. Enjoying life with all of its ordinary activities didn’t seem like a considerable lesson to me but looking back on the novel and looking in at myself, I can see that it is an essential lesson. I started to learn this lesson back in Grand Isle with the French Creole way of life exhibited in The Awakening, but I think it started to slip away from me in the hustle and bustle of New Orleans. I am hoping to get back in touch with this idea of slowing down and appreciating what is in front of you as our trip starts to slow down once again.
“It is not a bad thing to settle for the Little Way, not the big search for the big happiness but the sad little happiness of drinks and kisses, a good little car, and a warm deep thigh.”
We did a lot of big things while we were in New Orleans. We went on a ghost and vampire tour, rode the ferry to Algiers, ate beignets at Café du Monde, saw a performance at Preservation Hall, followed a second line parade, and visited museums. We really put on our tourists hats and did all of the classic New Orleans activities, but when I think about this trip in a few months or years, I’m not sure if those moments will be the biggest takeaways. Even now, as I think about all the things we did there, I find myself cherishing all the little things most of all.
I think about the night Alex, Spencer, Leila, and Lauryn gathered in mine and Maya’s room with snacks and music to read our books and write our blog posts together, and somehow Leila and I ended up impulsively purchasing concert tickets.
I think about the time we returned from Audubon Park and walked to Pinkberry for frozen yogurt.
I think about the incredible Cajun meal we enjoyed at 30/90, complete with a crawfish boil, the best jambalaya I’ve ever had, and raw oysters.
I think about the day off we were given to write our first papers, spending time with Maya at The Shops, and buying tickets to Harryween.
I think about the delicious food we had at Thaihey NOLA, and the hilarious waitress who pushed all of us to make our dishes spicier.
I think about the time we tried sneaking into a nearby hotel to do laundry but immediately left because the washing machine smelled like a sewer.
I think about the mouthwatering Chinese food we had at Dian Xin on our final day in NOLA, and the 15-minute tarot card reading I received across the street.
There are a million more moments I could list out, but that would make this blog too long to read. Don’t take me wrong, both the touristy and educational parts of this trip have been great. I have learned so much about the history of Louisiana and our country. I have visited places and seen exhibits that have moved me and have probably altered the way I think about community, race, what it means to be American, and myself completely. I know I will walk away from this trip wiser and more aware of the world I am living in. But I think my biggest takeaway from this Maymester will be the mundane things I did with everyone on this trip, like eating out, going to the grocery store, or spending time together in someone’s room. I know I have forged some amazing friendships on this trip, and I am eternally grateful for that because it was something I really needed at this point in my life. I remember telling my mom “I’ve found my people here.” And I think that’s what Walker Percy was trying to teach in The Moviegoer. I’m going through the same process Binx did. Maybe the meaning to life is simpler than we think. Life isn’t about the extraordinary. Life is about family and friends. Life can just be normal, and that doesn’t make it any less great.
We need to stop searching for the meaning of life and just start living it.
“There is only one thing I can do: listen to people, see how they stick themselves into the world, hand them along a ways in their dark journey and be handed along, and for good and selfish reason.”