Personally, week 3 ended up being rather dull– confined into a studio apartment alone and counting the days until I could jump back in on the adventures. Obviously, getting Covid was not on my agenda. I most certainly did not plan to isolate for a week of our month adventure here, especially not in Paris. But it happened. And it’s got me thinking.
I only had to quarantine for 5 to 7 days. Yet, even on my second day, I felt myself growing claustrophobic, itching to just take a short walk outside and feel the fresh air around me. Even with my voice gone and slightly feverish, I wanted to do more than lie in bed and wait for the seconds to pass. While I was lucky enough to have people to facetime and talk to, I missed seeing people face to face. I missed the freedom to walk out whenever I wanted, whether it was to go on a little stroll, meet up with friends, or to go get myself some strawberries I’d been craving for the past few days. I missed deciding what to do with my time and exploring the streets of Paris. And yet again, it’s really only been a few days in isolation.
Even when Covid first quarantined us all, I had a tough time with the idea of not seeing the people important to me. But imagine this– but extended. Could you imagine being isolated– alone– for 18 years? Imprisoned, left to make shoes for 18 years– prisoner 105, North Tower?
In A Tale of Two Cities, Dr. Manette is imprisoned in solitude for 18 years. For 18 years, he was forced to make shoes, refer to himself as prisoner 105, and mindlessly obey the guards. To me, it’s a miracle he ever came back into the reality of who he was before the trauma. Solitary confinement may be the cruelest punishment of all. And quite honestly, it is inevitable that he eventually falls back into his imprisoned state of mind. No matter how you look at it, 18 years is an absurd amount of time to be stuck in one place. 18 years without the simple pleasure of choice– to listen to music, sing, and have a meal with your family. 18 years stuck in one room, alone… are you even alive?
“We need Joy as we need air. We need Love as we need water. We need each other as we need the earth we share.”
Similarly, Jean Valjean has been imprisoned and degraded for 19 years… for stealing a loaf of bread for his family. But even if he hadn’t just stolen a loaf of bread, would he have deserved 19 years in prison? Would that justify up to 20 years in jail even if he robbed a bank? Who is prison helping if it holds some of the people in our society who need the most help and shoving them down to the very bottom, degrading their sense of self-worth?
“To have once been a criminal is no disgrace. To remain a criminal is the disgrace.”
As a 19-year-old, I cannot imagine how almost 2 decades in prison could do anybody any good and prepare you back for the real world. In both Manette and Jean Valjean’s situations, they not only lose their place in society but a sense of self. Both struggled to reintegrate into society, even after having done nothing wrong. In fact, Jean Valjean’s release pushed him to act more like a criminal when he first came in. He leaves prison with pent-up anger and newfound shame as society views him as a dirty figure worthless of redemption. Prison life changes you, and more often than not, you lose the things you need to get back to everyday life. When you lose your job and rejoin the world years later, you realize life has moved on without you. The sad reality is no one’s holding your hand when they throw you back into society.
Instead, you open your eyes to the corruption, just as Dr. Manette did.
I wish this blog post had a happy ending, but I’m not sure we figured that out as a society just yet. Here’s to hoping we figure it out soon.
The view keeping me sane from this 1-week isolation