18-Year Confinement

Personally, week 3 ended up being rather dull– confined into a studio apartment alone and counting the days until I could jump back in on the adventures. Obviously, getting Covid was not on my agenda. I most certainly did not plan to isolate for a week of our month adventure here, especially not in Paris. But it happened. And it’s got me thinking.

I only had to quarantine for 5 to 7 days. Yet, even on my second day, I felt myself growing claustrophobic, itching to just take a short walk outside and feel the fresh air around me. Even with my voice gone and slightly feverish, I wanted to do more than lie in bed and wait for the seconds to pass. While I was lucky enough to have people to facetime and talk to, I missed seeing people face to face. I missed the freedom to walk out whenever I wanted, whether it was to go on a little stroll, meet up with friends, or to go get myself some strawberries I’d been craving for the past few days. I missed deciding what to do with my time and exploring the streets of Paris. And yet again, it’s really only been a few days in isolation.

Even when Covid first quarantined us all, I had a tough time with the idea of not seeing the people important to me. But imagine this– but extended. Could you imagine being isolated– alone– for 18 years? Imprisoned, left to make shoes for 18 years– prisoner 105, North Tower?

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In A Tale of Two Cities, Dr. Manette is imprisoned in solitude for 18 years. For 18 years, he was forced to make shoes, refer to himself as prisoner 105, and mindlessly obey the guards. To me, it’s a miracle he ever came back into the reality of who he was before the trauma. Solitary confinement may be the cruelest punishment of all. And quite honestly, it is inevitable that he eventually falls back into his imprisoned state of mind. No matter how you look at it, 18 years is an absurd amount of time to be stuck in one place. 18 years without the simple pleasure of choice– to listen to music, sing, and have a meal with your family. 18 years stuck in one room, alone… are you even alive?

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“We need Joy as we need air. We need Love as we need water. We need each other as we need the earth we share.”

— Maya Angelou

Similarly, Jean Valjean has been imprisoned and degraded for 19 years… for stealing a loaf of bread for his family. But even if he hadn’t just stolen a loaf of bread, would he have deserved 19 years in prison? Would that justify up to 20 years in jail even if he robbed a bank? Who is prison helping if it holds some of the people in our society who need the most help and shoving them down to the very bottom, degrading their sense of self-worth?

“To have once been a criminal is no disgrace. To remain a criminal is the disgrace.”

— Malcolm X

As a 19-year-old, I cannot imagine how almost 2 decades in prison could do anybody any good and prepare you back for the real world. In both Manette and Jean Valjean’s situations, they not only lose their place in society but a sense of self. Both struggled to reintegrate into society, even after having done nothing wrong. In fact, Jean Valjean’s release pushed him to act more like a criminal when he first came in. He leaves prison with pent-up anger and newfound shame as society views him as a dirty figure worthless of redemption. Prison life changes you, and more often than not, you lose the things you need to get back to everyday life. When you lose your job and rejoin the world years later, you realize life has moved on without you. The sad reality is no one’s holding your hand when they throw you back into society.

Instead, you open your eyes to the corruption, just as Dr. Manette did.

I wish this blog post had a happy ending, but I’m not sure we figured that out as a society just yet. Here’s to hoping we figure it out soon.

The view keeping me sane from this 1-week isolation

Filthy Rich

The beauty of Versailles cannot be ignored once as you step into its gates. Even before entering, you can admire its grand size and magnificent golden gates from a distance. While the upkeep of Versailles costs over 15 million euros a year, Versailles continues to remain “one of the most excessively visited monuments on this planet” (according to Secrets of Paris). And while it is most definitely a site to see, I began to wonder if it’s logical to maintain such a place. After all, 15 million a year is a lot just to upkeep one place. 

Personally, I am so thankful to have seen this palace. The ceilings are lined up with astonishing artwork, and each room has its own theme accompanied by an audio guide explaining all there is to know about each room– you could easily spend days just exploring each room. 

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And as stunning as the palace was, my personal favorite part was the gardens. Back in LA, one of my favorite places to visit was The Getty. I would get there at 11, spend maybe 2 hours indoors, and spend the rest just taking in the beauty of the central garden. This was my getaway from my daunting thoughts of the future. Walking around the gardens here gave me that same sense of comfort. 

Funnily enough, I felt slightly unsettled the entire time I was there, almost as if this place shouldn’t exist. And honestly, it shouldn’t have. No one should have had that much money to spend on themselves. The absurdity that took place at Versailles is, to say quite simply, ridiculous. The royal blood relieved themselves wherever they wanted, gave birth in public, and had unused rooms because of just how much space they had. 

GOLDEN GATE

… covered in over 100,000 gold leaves

So what does it mean that this thing stands tall to this day? Still kept up and polished after all these years? That the royal gate, destroyed during the French Revolution, was rebuilt back to its glory centuries later? Yes, it serves as a historical monument, but at what cost? It reminds us of the massive gap in incomes yet that still exists to this day. So, has anything really changed?

After going back home, I decided to do some research. While it costs 15 million euros to upkeep a year, Versailles also creates over 2,500 direct jobs. It contributes to long-term projects like The Démos project, which aims to “expand access to culture by teaching children from disadvantaged areas without any prior musical training to play an instrument as part of group classical music lessons.” It sponsors about 100 kids for free workshops and even supports private lessons for 15 kids. To learn more, take a look at https://en.chateauversailles.fr/news/life-estate/versailles-solidary-palace#long-term-projects. 

Reading all this provided me with a sense of relief. What was built and used as a statement of sheer power and money now stands for something more: equity. Versailles now stands for the enrichment of the people: a transition of power. 

Hall of Mirrors

Standing in a gallery with 357 mirrors and gorgeous, gorgeous chandeliers

with Hallie and Julia <3

Stout-Hearted Sacrifice

Palais-Royal and its Garden

A marvelous sight of today’s excursion

During our seminar today, we’ve done something that we haven’t done just yet. While we were down to just 8 students, we spent over an hour discussing A Tale of Two Cities and analyzing its characters and Dickens’ choices. We discussed Lucie and her role as this symbolic literary figure– “the golden thread” that holds everybody together. We probed the question as to whether or not we wanted to or should have seen more of Lucie’s personal thoughts throughout the novel. 

Sydney Carton, image courtesy of MEISTERDRUCKE

While we didn’t come to a cohesive conclusion, I personally felt that it was necessary to leave Lucie the way she was– distantly hung up on a pedestal. Because as “the golden thread,” as the main reason why all the rest of the characters are able to become close to one another, Lucie holds a lot of responsibility. And if Dickens had developed Lucie into a more personable character, we would have lost that sense of absolute purity and innocence. If we were to see more of Lucie’s humane thoughts and relate to her more, we may not be able to precisely understand why Lucie could be that middle-ground for the story. It might be harder, as a reader, to see how one person could hold so much power in people around them to do good. Even so, I can see why some people in the discussion wanted a more fleshed-out character.

The best thing about this discussion was that I felt much more connected to the places we walked during our afternoon exploration. While I was able to get a sense of connection before, this day felt particularly more relatable not only because it specifically required us to walk Sydney Carton’s path before [spoiler alert] his sacrifice, but because we talked so much about how the characters made us feel and why we believe some of the characters were portrayed as they were. 

La Force

(or what’s left of it now)

While the walk was significantly different to what it was when Dickens wrote the novel, you could still get a grasp on how long and gruesome the journey the tumbrils must have taken from La Force. Walking through Sydney Carton’s ride to his death, I began to think about the sacrifice some people are willing to make. Personally, my dad made unimaginable sacrifices when he first moved to America. Past the age of 30, my dad didn’t know any English when he first immigrated. He sacrificed 5 years of seeing his daughter in the mere hope of providing her a better future than the one he had. He endures being ridiculed and/ or ignored for his differences– his accent– yet, he continues to hold strong for his family. Sometimes, I can’t help but look back and wonder if I’m doing enough to make his sacrifice worth it. I wonder if he regrets having gone through all that hard work and wishes he had spent all that time in Korea with the rest of his family. 

His sacrifice. Of comfort. Pride. Freedom. Just so my brother and I can have the privilege of eating what we want and dreaming of being whoever we want. His sacrifice means the world to me. 

Referring back to A Tale of Two Cities, it was mind-boggling for me to see that Lucie mentions nothing of Sydney Carton after his sacrifice for her and her family. She only repeats “Look back, look back, and see if we’re being pursued” over and over again, which, while understandable, really undermines the weight of Carton’s sacrifice (Dickens 366). To be fair, I’m not sure if Lucie even knows how Darnay escaped his death sentence. While that would be reasonable, I am slightly upset Carton didn’t get the recognition he deserved from the characters. Perhaps I’m being biased.

Vendôme Column

at the Place Vendôme– celebrating Napoleon’s victory of the Battle of Austerlitz (another spot we visited on route of Carton’s final journey).

Walking through these streets, for this very reason, made me a little emotional. In our group discussion, we talked about how the little things are what really matter. It is the little things. I still remember the first week of freshman year when I came home to a little “Take a new fresh bandaid!!” sticky note and a box of bandaids from my roommate on my desk. I still remember waiting in line at Barnes and Noble when a stranger behind me commented that the book was a great choice (to be honest, I don’t think I ended up reading much of the book for years). Or when my friend insisted that she would pay for my drink. 

It is the simplest of things that make life just that much better.

A year’s worth of handwritten notes from my freshman year roommate.

Traditional Grub From the City of London

Growing up in Korea and moving to America at 8, I’ve always been in a fast-paced environment. In preschool, we were already mastering our 12x-12 multiplication table. By 1st grade, we were comfortable with long division; at this point, we had long been walking the streets to school on our own. Coming into America, I was forced to learn English very quickly, only spending a year and a half at ESL and quickly learning with high-achieving classmates. From all this, I’ve learned to value my time– it’s one of those things you can’t buy or get back… you only have so much of it. 

Because of this, I like to walk fast. I don’t like to wait long, and I certainly don’t like it when people are consistently late. Sometimes, I like to eat quickly and knock as much as possible out of the day. Perhaps this is the American way. Perhaps this is a fault of mine. 

Walking into Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese, I was utterly excited to see the place Dickens imagined Sydney as a frequent visitor. The very pub that he visits and then leaves to go sobbing back on his bed! I explored the area we dined in and then went downstairs to find even more seating. Upstairs, there’s a very special first edition copy of A Tale of Two Cities proudly hung on its wall. 

However, downstairs is where I imagine Sydney Carton and Charles Darnay to have their tense conversation– the cramped, cool space equipped with a bar, with Madame Defarge in the corner, knitting. It is also downstairs where the bathrooms are found. The very bathroom where Carton reprobates himself with pure hatred: “Why should you particularly like a man who resembles you? There is nothing in you to like… You hate that fellow” (Dickens 90). In that same bathroom (albeit I was in the ladies' room), I could just picture Carton leaning over the sink and muttering these words. 

In this eccentric old pub, an original copy of A Tale of Two Cities is proudly hung on the wall and decorated with some fitting old decorations and cartoons. But once I found my way about the little treats of the pub, I found myself getting rather impatient. As mentioned before, I value my time and waiting for what felt like an absurd amount of time to be spent for lunch made me a little antsy. Mind you, as a group of 12 in a small pub, with one waiter serving all its customers, it was undoubtedly not the waiter’s fault. Eventually, the food arrived.

As the novel mentions, Carton and Darnay find themselves having a “good plain dinner and good wine” (Dickens 87). Our lunch was undoubtedly plain. Having ordered the Steak and Ale, I found the meal mildly comical. As a huge foodie, I found myself sitting with mere peas, mashed potatoes, and a cute little pie on my plate. “Vegetables” on the menu referred to a small mound of peas on the side. 

It’s funny to think that these characters were likely conversing with such kinds of foods on their plates. But what does any of that matter? Carton was undeniably more focused on his wine. 

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Not ARF!

Possibly my favorite decoration at Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese

A World Away From Home

““You put yourself out there in the truest way you can and hope others do the same. You’ll connect or you won’t, but you did what you could.””

— Chris Crutcher

As I try to get down to the nitty-gritty and format this website, I find myself sitting in frustration. Sitting in the hotel room at Bloomsbury, I find myself impatiently waiting for the site to load. Perhaps it is my American ways or merely my own privilege. Still, I can’t stand the idea of wasting time just waiting when there is so much to see, so much to do, so much to experience…

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This week, we’re walking around the streets of London, visiting the places that inspired Charles Dickens to create such wonderfully relatable characters within A Tale of Two Cities. We’re exploring the lively city where Charles Dickens spent almost 4 decades of his life. We’re visiting all the places of historical importance, along the places he mentioned, and even walking through what used to be his house, now called the Charles Dickens Museum. 

Only having a week in London, I feel myself pushing to do as much as I can, as quickly as I can– trucking along with cup after cup of tea to keep me functioning enough to check the next thing off the bucket list. Unfortunately, the heat wave got the best of me the first few days. I found it a little harder to adjust than I expected, with the time and currency change and being a little homesick. 

The gate holding Queen Elizabeth II safe– The flag at the Buckingham Palace was raised… the Queen was home!

Royal guards facing their Sentry boxes (side note: royal guards have to be at least 5’10”– from behind the fence, they barely look like they’re 5 feet!)

Even so, the places we visited this week kept me going– the rich British history, the beautiful buildings, and the head of Oliver Cromwell. We saw the flag raised for Queen Elizabeth II and visited Poet’s Corner in Westminster Abbey, where Dickens was buried with other influential writers. We also visited the Charles Dickens Museum (as mentioned before), where the famous opening line of A Tale of Two Cities lies on its walls. 

Below are some of my favorite places we visited.

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Cromwell v. Charles

At the House of Commons, we have a statue of Oliver Cromwell, who played the role of Lord Protector from 1653 to 1658. On the other side of the street, parallel to Cromwell is the head of Charles I. As he was beheaded, the statues are shown facing each other, almost as if they’re still facing each other off today. This historical image resonates with you– it’s almost as if you can hear the crowd groaning as Charles is executed. Yet, as history goes, you can also see the consequences of the execution, both good and bad.

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Manette Street

How can I leave out Manette Street? Found in the Soho area, we find the garden and the house the Manettes supposedly lived at. There used to be an arm-and-hammer there, but walking around, we unfortunately could not find a replica. 

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Les MIS Showing

Not wanting to spoil any of the book Les Misérables for myself, I refrained from watching the movie. But having finished the entire book, I was excited to see how they would condense 1456 pages into a 3-hour performance. 

Personally, I loved the performance. It’s always interesting to see how the producers interpret and spin around the story to create their own work of art. In particular, the Thenadiers in the performance bring a light air to the audience. I found myself laughing countless times due to their comical conduct, whereas in the book, I was more than frustrated by their sinister treatment of the people around them. If you ever find yourself near a showing the Les Mis, I strongly encourage you to check it out. However, if I hadn’t read the book before watching, I would have been incredibly confused by the plot.

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Overall, the class so far has pushed me to step out of my comfort zone. Besides having moved from Korea to America when I was 8, I have not traveled out of the country, let alone by myself. Yet, I still find myself having a great time. I’m exploring all these new places, immersing myself in the history of Britain, and learning about the posh British culture that doesn’t mind waiting an hour everyday for their lunch. I’m excited for the days to come and hope I can get the most out of this class. 

Now… on to Paris.