“I lay my body down to sleep,
I pray to God my Soul to keep
And, if I should die before I wake,
I pray to God my Soul to take.”
Every single night, for as long as I can remember, these were the last words to leave my mouth before I slept. Mom instilled it in my sister and I that nightly prayer was sacred and our most intimate way of speaking to God. She is an extremely devout Catholic woman, given her progessive lifestyle and morals, and always has been. Therefore, out of our love and respect for her, my sister and I willingly accepted our religious upbringing and the expectations Mom had raised us with. In other words: I was baptized, I accepted Communion, I attended religious education, I received Confirmation, I went to church, and I memorized the prayers. Despite this, I never understood my purpose for doing any of it. I thought I understood why others did it. And as I’ve grown older and more independent, Mom realizes that and respects my choice to stray away from my faith. But, since coming to Louisiana, I wonder to myself: Why have faith?
Catholicism in southern Louisiana is unique, at least in comparison to the catholicism I was raised with. The religious practices here have a strong Afro-American influence, which derives from the fact that southern Louisiana has the largest per capita Black Catholic population in the country. This resonates in Ernest J. Gaines’, A Lesson Before Dying, as faith and Black Creole catholicism are consistent themes that heavily influence the plot all throughout. The novel begins with the main protagonist, Grant Wiggins, who has a very rocky relationship with organized religion – considering that he comes from an entirely catholic family and primarily catholic community. This characteristic of Grant’s was one of the very few struggles I could relate to because, as I mentioned, my faith has always been sort of a gray area in my life. Grant, specifically, feels this way because he views the scriptures of the Bible as written reminders that black people of society are inferior to white people and must remain submissive. This thought didn’t fully sink in until today, at the Ernest J. Gaines Center, when Cheylon reiterated Andrew’s lecture that the Bible was printed in different copies (white only and blacks only) where the black only copies focused on the glorification of servitude and black inferiority, with promises of Heaven and the afterlife. The most barbaric part was when she mentioned that “this version of the Bible gave them something to look forward to (death)” and reminded them that if they remained docile, “it will all be worth it in the end.” Cheylon even added that Gaines himself had drifted in and out of his relationship with the catholic faith throughout his life. So, given this, and the fact that Gaines and his family were surrounded by a society that did not value the black community nor provide them with a voice – I was initially confused as to why he allowed Grant to reach the acceptance of faith that he did in the end of the novel.
Only after many immersions with the Black Creole culture of New Orleans, did I start to piece together the reasoning behind the vitality of faith and religion, not only for the character of Grant, but for the actual Black community. During Grant’s religious awakening, he realizes that Heaven is less about the concept of everlasting life but more about giving black people the strength to overcome their suffering. Gaines was intentionally making an observation about the way faith and religion played an essential role in the lives of those around him in his own community. So, when I saw the murals of a black Jesus Christ and black Virgin Mary painted across the walls of Treme neighborhoods, it became more apparent that they symbolized something more than black pride – they served as reminders of strength. They remind the black community that their hope in the catholic faith is what will allow them to remain resilient amongst the injustice and hardship they face in their daily lives. Also, it gave me a better understanding of why the Divine Ladies choose to set aside their hard earned money to ensure that they’re shared tombs are looked after once they have passed. In actuality, the Divine Ladies don’t do this, solely, with respect for their burial site in mind – but also for the everlasting preservation of their tombs. They believe their strong relationship with their faith, even in death, must be remembered eternally to serve as a constant reminder of hope for their oppressed black community. Everything in the Black catholic culture serves as a reminder of hope that their pain and suffering will someday be rewarded, which is what Gaines strived to depict in this novel.
So, again, when I think to myself about the words I once recited, mechanically, every night; “I pray to God my Soul to keep – I open my eyes to how they speak differently to the black catholic community. I acknowledge my own privileges in life and understand that religion may never speak to me the same way it does for this community – however, I at least have a clearer answer to my question: Why have faith?
Without faith, there is no hope. And without hope, life becomes meaningless. Religion provides meaning.
